Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
