I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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