I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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