I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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