Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
