yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
