he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
