I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
