Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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