Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
