is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
