you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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