I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
