that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i think i have two assholes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
