is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
last night I used snow as a chaser
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
