Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
