Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My balls are so social today.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
