Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
