Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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