If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
