dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
