she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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