I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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