I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
