So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
