so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
