yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
