I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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