playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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