We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
