Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
