I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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