i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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