Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You need a sexual gate keeper
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
