im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
