So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
