At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
