Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
