i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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