dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
