woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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