Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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