I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
