sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
