So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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