is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
