Having a random hookup so left but love u
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
