Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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