This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
