Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
