Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
where am i from again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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