Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
