Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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