Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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